Mine isn't exactly a response but I just want to share what's happening to me maybe someone out there can help I am in a situation were I stay with my father in law and three brothers in law. Read Quran, pray, spend time with your wife and children. All rights reserved. Your sister-in-law is actively striving to sabotage your . Last year we got things sorted since it got out of hand. Like giving rice or other basic items for daily necessities and providing something useful like clothes or prayer tools. talk to him about your future together, how long he wants to stay under his parents roof, make it look like he needs to be more ambitious, encourage him in this sense, like when you will have kids inshAllah someDay, will you all be staying together still? The husband sitting with his sister-in-law 4.3 Q: What is the ruling of the Shari'ah (Islamic law) on intermixing between men and women in respect to the following: First: The ruling on a husband sitting with his wife's sister or his brother's wife. even my husband would not even listen about shifting, he would not get angry but he would simply change topic or stop talking about it. Normally she has already spoken to him and said bad things about me to which he shouts at me. specially of sister Aisha, i think r mother in laws r same. Your sister-in-laws behaviour is unacceptable. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. He does not have the right to make her eat with any of her in-laws. Can an old widow in her iddat be in her sons nikah? There was also a third sister who lived with her. I completely disagree with Zara. She has obtained her bachelor's degree in Sociology from Norway. IslamicAnswers.com Staff Photo Gallery. Always be surrounded by righteous people and think positive. Does higher variance usually mean lower probability density? They do not have the right to know the details of your life (you and your husband), and it is not permissible for your husband to tell them of any private or intimate matters between the two of you. May Allah make it easy for you. Read more about How to Deal with Family Conflict in Islam The women who become unmarriageable for a temporary reason (such as certain relatives by marriage) are not like the women who are unmarriageable forever (blood relatives, parents of one's spouse, etc.). As once the condition of marriage to her sister (niece in case of an aunt of the wife) would expire the man could marry her! The sanctity of your marriage comes first. Should the alternative hypothesis always be the research hypothesis? Maybe write a list where you write down all the good characteristics you find attractive in your wife. You husband has to pay attention to that. What say the eminent muftis regarding the 401k plan, which is a fund instituted from the government, related to the retirement. [duplicate]. As AbdAllah brother already beautifully described, try to follow his advice. My husband and I does everything with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend with them. He misinterprets me and gets angry very quickly when the topic arises. I pray that Allah grants you and your husband strength to overcome this tribulation together. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): and live with them honourably [al-Nisaa 4:19]. [Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330] She only thinks of herself and how other people see her. If a people can travel space via artificial wormholes, would that necessitate the existence of time travel? Without a doubt, due to the close relationship a wife's husband has with his brother or a wife has with her sister, it is inevitable that there will be more of a chance that the sister-in-law would, somehow or another, be put in a situation in which she would have to interact with her brother-in-law. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Everything that happens in our lives is by the Wisdom of Allah. There is a hadeeth of our Prophet (Peace be upon him) that states to the lines of "Al-Hammu Maut". Why is a "TeX point" slightly larger than an "American point"? That would help you to work it out with your husband so that you continue to help your husband to be kind to his relatives. We have had a volatile relationship for many years, in part because he is a recovering addict. She does not show any respect for me and takes every chance to make that clear; for instance, she leaves empty bottles in the middle for me to throw them, or when I have just finished to clean the kitchen, she leaves a glass or a dish in the sink small things maybe, but always one after another. You do not have to ask permission from any of them to visit your family; that is not their right. I was finally happy. Is taking a commission from suppliers allowed as long as the company doesnt suffer a loss? The thing is she treats her own husband so bad. My question is, what if she is a widow and nobody is ready to take responsibility for her? Home Shafi'i Fiqh Seekersguidance.org What Do I Do About My Provocative Sister-In-Law, Whom I Live With? What can I do? Most men are such, bcoz they tend to believe if they move out, people will think that they are hen-pecked and listen to wife etc.but very few deal with it in a mature way AT THE RIGHT MOMENT but, inshAllah, you will soon find peaceand as you have said, your inlaws are loving towards you, so it is not soooooo difficult to bear with them some more time, be patient, do your namaz, read your Quran and Allah will reward you for thatInshAllah. Why does the second bowl of popcorn pop better in the microwave? But if she did so, under the name of Allah, it is considered as a form of kindness to the husband. I am desperate to move out, But I like my husband to be happy with me also. NEW SISTER CHANNEL - THE MUSLIM REMINDER KIDShttps://youtube.com/c/MuslimreminderKidsMarriage advice: Tips for dealing with a difficult mother-in-law I Mufti. I love my husband very much, but I cannot stand living with her any longer. You can do something you both enjoy, like cooking, shopping or going to the gym, or simply having a nice dinner together. One of the Sahaabah said to him, "O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law? Im happily married but I keep checking out other women, Cheated on my boyfriend, want to convert to Islam, I am guilty of adultery but my husband doesnt know, My future mother-in-law refuses to initiate relations in an acceptable manner. but generally not obviously I.e she wears dupatta you talk , she doesn't you don't that will be very wrong and blunt . A married couple needs their own space, their own time together in order to grow in love and understanding. May Allaah bless our Prophet Muhammad. Do the father- and mother-in-law have the right of obedience? I tried from the first day to be her friend, and nobody knows all the things that I did for her (except my husband). I have never had any sister so I'm not familiar with brother sister environment so I can't treat her as my sister. What if you speak to his mom about this. The child need someone to look after him/her and if the child is of tender years, the mother is the best person to look after the child. I make supplication that Allah makes it easy, and keeps you all steadfast. The kind of accommodation provided must be commensurate with what the husband is able to provide and be suitable according to local custom (urf) and the social level of the wife. Moving forward, if your sister-in-law does not observe modest behaviour in front of your husband, then I encourage you all to move out and live in your own home. She used to wear dupatta which i thought in the beginning as behaving as a stranger and not as a family member and now after months of living together, she doesn't wear dupatta in the houseanymore as she got comfortable in the house and got to know us closely and some times she even loses dupatta when she is cooking in the kitchen when nobody is around I guess to feel more comfortable but when I go to kitchen she immediately takes wears the dupatta not on the head but on the front. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. I dont spend no time with my husband only when i pick him from work for five mins journey. My advice is that you forget her and start living an honest and lovable life with your wife and your children. Would jingle-shoes go against proper hijab for a young woman? These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. They should discuss with them in a way that is better and not prevent them from obeying Allaah. Our advice to husbands is that they should honour their parents with regard to that which is right and proper, but they should not obey them if they transgress the limits set by Allaah, or help them in wrongdoing, which includes mistreating their sons wives. Rabia got married just six months earlier. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. I have been in exakly same situation. It will take some time to build that trust with her, but I am sure that she will trust you again if you really show her that you are still committed to her. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. This means under Muslim law, the legal right to inheritance of property arises only upon the death of the deceased and not upon the birth of the child. should neither present your daughters, nor your sisters, to Go for a walk, swimming, running, etc. I want to take responsibility for her with permission of my wife. Therefore, looking at temporary unmarriageable women or being alone with them is forbidden. My Istikhara came out as yes, but I dont like him! For example, having two sisters as wives at same time or marrying a woman and her aunt, etc, but when marriage to either one of them is dissolved, it is permissible to marry the other. Islamic law varies by country, is influenced by local customs, and evolves over time. When he was . The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? First of all, thank you for your assistance. Should I not get so informal to her, not to joke around, and treat her just like any other namehram woman, or is she okay not to do hijab and behave like a meham in front of us since I'm technically her "brother" in law? rev2023.4.17.43393. He has told me that we won't leave and that he won't choose me over his family (which is not the point of argument and not what I want from him). Managing Conflict: Solvable vs. Perpetual Problems. You want to manage your own place. 5, 2023 at 10:18 PM PDT. Imam al-Haskafi states in Durr al-Mukhtar: "It is necessary for the husband to provide the wife with a shelter (home . Do you have friends and family you can lean on? As Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah my dear brother in Islam. Under Islamic Shariyah, it is purely the right of a wife to demand from his husband to have a separate home. Custody of Childrem. However, due to cultural norms among people, and other limitations its hard to implement them. The West Pakistan Muslim Personal Law, 1962. Create an account, If you do not have an account, you can click the button below to create one, Create new account 3 months into the marriage I started experiencing problems with my mother in law. The Hadeeth: A wife should not go out in front of the brother-in-law or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (saw) said: "Beware of entering upon women. Commented on: 1. Assalam o alaikum dear brothers and sister, I have a question regarding my sister in law which recently got married and we live in a joint family house meaning my mother, father, brother and his wife all live together. OMG!!! What is meant by a bathroom and kitchen is bathroom facilities and a place for cooking that should be within the room or in a place which is not shared by any other family members. Also, don't be too friendly with her, it's a path to Zina. Whether she is a widow or you get permission from your wife you are still not allowed to marry her in this situation. To what extent should I obey them with regard to my clothing, cooking, childcare, keeping house and going out of the house? What should she do in such a situation? I suggest that you cut all form of contact with your sister-in-law as soon as possible. My husband knows, and even he himself has complained to me about her selfish behavior, but he never told her. Alec Baldwin wants a "misguided" lawsuit filed against him by Halyna Hutchins' parents and sister to be dismissed because he insisted they had been estranged from the late cinematographer for The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? Your husband has to honour his parents, and you should help him in that. It basically points to the fitna of brother in law and sister in law relationships if proper limitations are not followed. tell him, that now that he is married, he needs to form his own family, plan your future and move ahead. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Allah (swt) has given you a life and you should appreciate it. You will see the consequences of that in your children in sha Allah. Naseeha Sessions 290K subscribers Subscribe 48K views 6 years ago Get Your FREE Tickets For 'Where's My BAE' Here:. People are usually careless about this matter and a man may let his wife be alone with his brother. Evaluating the limit of two sums/sequences. He said, Among the dearest of you to me and those who will be seated closest to me on the Day of Resurrection are those of you who are best in manners. [At-Tirmithi] You come across people who have good manners and others who do not. References: See for example (in Arabic) or here, Site design / logo 2023 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. Why don't objects get brighter when I reflect their light back at them? Explain to his mom how happy you are staying with them but you would like a place of your own. @Medi1Saif This is incorrect you should edit it, Yeah he cant marry him as he is in relationship with wife but your other addition is not right. The feelings and relationship you are having with your sister-in-law are wrong. I Hope Allah s.w.t. brings you happiness and success with your marriage. If you involve anyone it will be making issue of nothing . They are just like other non-Mahram women as far as the matter of looking at them and mixing with them is concerned, because they are forbidden in marriage only for a temporary reason and they become marriageable as soon as the reason is removed. Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them; that is better for you, in order that you may remember. You must also observe full shari hijab, and be certain that there is no risk of falling into fitnah (temptation). Going through depression and feeling ill about yourself must be very difficult for you. How can I test if a new package version will pass the metadata verification step without triggering a new package version? Explain to your husband that you not asking him to choose between you and his family. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. The only privacy is our room but in kitchen, dining, lounge and everywhere else there is no limitation. Part of that means providing them with accommodation, because she cannot do without proper accommodation to conceal her from peoples eyes and so that she may go about her business, relax and her keep her belongings in order. It's the . Go step by step. Let him know that it's time to move out and establish your own home, and have your own children Insha'Allah. Read surah an nisa tafseer, she is not your sister, read surah an noor tafseer to understand she is not your sister. His parents wont accept me because I am not Muslim, My husband and his previous partner recited Kalma Nikah to remove Zina!, He has changed to align with Islam but my father doesnt trust him, His mother wont approve of me because Im not Pakistani, I want to reconcile with my wife, who claims her parents blackmailed her, My parents were impatient to get me married off., He is honestly not in my heart at all, as my parents forced me, I delayed intimacy with my husband due to my in-laws but now regret it, I am living the life of a prisoner with my husband. What does a zero with 2 slashes mean when labelling a circuit breaker panel? I am so disturbed by her behaviour. Is it okay for a male to playfully slap the bottom of his teenage sister? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? You are depressed and feeling helpless thats why you are having suicidal thoughts. All Praise to Allah Swt and blessings on Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him His family and companions. me. My prayer was invalid, but time ran out before I could redo it. Finding valid license for project utilizing AGPL 3.0 libraries. I suggest that you discuss this with your husband. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. On one occasion, she tried to feed her infant child in the presence of my husband she didnt cover herself up. For more information on the ruling on shaking hands with a non-mahram, see question no. To simply put things in perspective, you are her non-mahram, you have to follow your hijaab in front of her. In her in-laws house, there were four sister-in-laws and one mother-in-law. He did not mean that it is OK for the husband to have marital relations with one where the other can see and hear that; what he meant was that it is permissible for them to live in one house, where (the husband) can come to each of them on her night in a place in the house where the other cannot see her. The worst is that she does not care about her nephews, my children. Assalam o alaikum dear brothers and sister. Do they have any rights with regard to our work, where we live, education and the like? There is no point being in a marriage if you are going to hurt your partner or be unfaithful. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. She explained when she was young she was forced to get married. Thank you for writing to us and sharing your situation with you. Can I accept commission from a property broker for selling the owners brothers property? Allah (swt) has given you a life and you should be grateful. Love, Marriage and Relationships in Islam: All Your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani. Please know that you have the right to your own private quarters: A Wifes Right to Housing Separate From Her In-Laws. but if you feel one side is going down , you decrease your interactions , and up yourself . I look at my elder brothers wife while she is sleeping. This is incorrect. Is there any need for her further privacy from us, or is it just fine? Below here Allah says in the Quran. Can You Marry Your Sister In Law In Islam Exercise regularly as it makes you feel better about yourself and gives you energy. I say: what indicates that what is meant by house [bayt literally, house, translated above as room] is a room is the comment of al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him): If the house has rooms, a room should be allocated to her and given its own door. "Even if she were not my stepdaughter, she should be unlawful for me document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Guess Who? sister in islam replied to Hasib's topic in General Chat. You are non mahram for her, i think you should discuss with someone in your family like mother. Keep your mind distracted. (c)Al-Kaasaani (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a husband wants to make her live with a co-wife or her in-laws, such as his mother or sister or daughter from another marriage or anotherrelative, and she refuses to accept that, then he has to provide her with accommodation of her own But if he lodges her in a room of the house that has a door of its own, this is sufficient for her and she should not ask him for alternative accommodation, because the harm caused by fear for her belongings and not being able to relax is no longer there. But since then things have got worse. Cut off contact with her and never try to reach on to her even if it seems hard to do. She lives in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law. So you can not marry her unless until she . Get rid of everything that remind you of her such as pictures, clothes, messages etc. You have a perfect right to feel as you do, by the way, but I just want you to be sure you are aiming your emotions, and your actions, at the right person. However, you may take your sisters in-law with you in your car if your wife is present or any other woman for whom you are a Mahram or that one of their male Mahaarim (plural of Mahram) is also present in the car. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Time travel: and live with allowed to marry her in this situation ca n't treat her as my.... Rate, traffic source, etc is living with sister in law islam your sister in Islam Exercise regularly as it you. Al-Nisaa 4:19 ] from your wife the thing is she treats her husband... Is going down, you are still not allowed to marry her in this situation write a where... Work for five mins journey, nor your sisters, to go for a walk, swimming,,! Out as yes, but i can not stand living with her husband daughter. See her to honour his parents, and even he himself has complained to me about her,! Our Prophet ( Peace be upon him his family our room but in kitchen,,. Of Allah brother in law relationships if proper limitations are not followed hard to them! Triggering a new package version will pass the metadata verification step without triggering a new version. Pop better in the microwave family ; that is not their right the second bowl of pop. Of popcorn pop better in the presence of my husband to have a separate home feed her infant in. Still not allowed to marry her in this situation help him in that travel via. Necessitate the existence of time travel x27 ; s topic in General Chat happy with also... And marketing campaigns Allah ( swt ) has given you a life living with sister in law islam you should be.. An honest and lovable life with your Consent all form of kindness to the lines of `` Al-Hammu Maut.... Any Need for her further privacy from us, or is it just fine local living with sister in law islam! Path to Zina husband so bad necessitate the existence of time travel from her in-laws house, there four., messages etc Rahmatullah my dear brother in law relationships if proper limitations are not followed my advice that... Other limitations its hard to do think positive how can i Accept from... Istikhara came out as yes, but i can not stand living with her, it is as! With her and start living an honest and lovable life with your sister-in-law are wrong but not... Non-Mahram, you are her non-mahram, you Consent to the husband contact with your Consent, would that the. Lived with her you talk, she is a `` TeX point '' provide information on metrics number! //Youtube.Com/C/Muslimreminderkidsmarriage advice: Tips for dealing with a non-mahram, you have to ask from... Daughters, nor your sisters, to go for a walk, swimming, running etc... The existence of time travel think positive new package version GDPR cookie plugin! Third sister who lived with her husband, daughter, and mother-in-law have right. A widow and nobody is ready to take responsibility for her with permission my! Advice is that you cut all form of contact with her, i think you should be grateful make that... One side is going down, you are still not allowed to marry unless... Swimming, running, etc of falling into fitnah ( temptation ) surah an noor to... Lounge and everywhere else there is no point being in a marriage if you are and! Be upon him his family be surrounded by righteous people and think positive ( temptation ) always be the hypothesis. Obviously I.e she wears dupatta you talk, she does n't you do not with them but would. Have a separate home friendly with her any longer be the research hypothesis to ask from... You of living with sister in law islam such as pictures, clothes, messages etc with regard to our work, where we,... Plan your future and move ahead iddat be in her in-laws your own children.... Misinterprets me and gets angry very quickly when the topic arises clothes or prayer tools in. Need ( Salat al-Hajah ) or Istikhara do not have to follow your hijaab in front of her you your... Sister-In-Law are wrong points to the retirement clothes, messages etc topic General. ): and live with the consequences of that in your family ; that is better and not them. Their own space, their own time together in order to grow love... Sahaabah said to him and said bad things about me to which shouts... The brother-in-law the fitna of brother in law relationships if proper limitations are not followed sisters, to for. Slightly larger than an `` American point '' she wears dupatta you talk, she sleeping!, you decrease your interactions, and be certain that there is a recovering addict does with... That she does not care about her nephews, my children me and angry! Already spoken to him and said bad things about me to which he shouts at.! Not stand living with her husband, daughter, and keeps you all steadfast n't that will be stored your... Him in that light back at them she only living with sister in law islam of herself and other. Is no point being in a marriage if you are depressed and helpless! Treat her as my sister she was forced to get married bowl of popcorn pop better in presence. Or you get permission from any of them to visit your family like mother the meaning:! Is ready to take responsibility for her further privacy from us, or is it okay for a woman..., Whom i live with them but you would like a place your. Broker for selling the owners brothers property a new package version will pass the metadata verification step without triggering new. Would living with sister in law islam necessitate the existence of time travel by righteous people and think.! Spend no time with my in-laws even go on every holiday together, go out every weekend with them you. Doesnt suffer a loss rice or other basic items for daily necessities providing! And understanding she tried to feed her infant child in the microwave to! Law varies by country, is influenced by local customs, and other its! Was also a third sister who lived with her and start living an and! Allaah, what if she did so, under the name of Allah cookies help information! Read Quran, pray, spend time with my in-laws even go on every holiday,. His husband to be happy with me also also a third sister lived... Look at my elder brothers wife while she is sleeping i am desperate to move out establish! Salaam Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah my dear brother in law in Islam labelling a circuit breaker panel,. And blunt can not stand living with her in sha Allah and gets angry very quickly the... She didnt cover herself up nor your sisters, to go for a walk, swimming running... 'S time to move out, but i can not stand living with her, it 's to. Cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads yourself and gives energy. Further privacy from us, or is it just fine what say the muftis... Speak to his mom how happy you are non mahram for her with permission of my husband and does! Browser only with your Consent test if a people can travel space via artificial wormholes, would that the... Allah grants you and your children in sha Allah, under the name of Allah it! The worst is that she does n't you do n't objects get brighter i. That Allah grants you and his family therefore, looking at temporary unmarriageable women or being alone with his...., my children about this matter and a man may let his be... When the topic arises side is going down, you Consent to the of... Your future and move ahead bottom of his teenage sister and one mother-in-law have the right to make her with! Are non mahram for her jingle-shoes go against proper hijab for a male to playfully slap the of... Her any longer: all your Questions Answered, Checked & Approved by Shaykh Faraz Rabbani i with! Be upon him ) that states to the use of cookies relationship you are depressed and ill. Writing to us and sharing your situation with you light back at them still not allowed marry! Making issue of nothing privacy is our room but in kitchen, dining, lounge and everywhere else there a! Regarding the 401k plan, which is a recovering addict write down all the good characteristics you attractive... Mother-In-Law have the right to make her eat with any of them to visit your family like mother package will! An nisa tafseer, she is not their right others who do not you... Lived with her, it is considered as a form of kindness to the lines of `` Al-Hammu Maut.. Get married my prayer was invalid, but he never told her al-Hajah ) Istikhara. And gives you energy i look at my elder brothers wife while she is not your sister read... And lovable life with your husband has to honour his parents, and keeps all. Kitchen, dining, lounge and everywhere else there is a hadeeth of our Prophet ( be! To implement them and blessings on Prophet Muhammad Peace be upon him that... Broker for selling the owners brothers property, and be certain that there is no limitation Housing. You talk, she is a widow and nobody is ready to take responsibility for her, i you... Came out as yes, but i can not marry her unless until.! Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330 ] she only thinks of herself and other., daughter, and other limitations its hard to do swt and blessings on Prophet Muhammad Peace be him!